Looking For The Bright Side

But I can't seem to find it anywhere. Yes, the scale is still reading 179-180. I think I actually gained 4-5 pounds from that binge. I am so pissed with myself. I am trying to move on, but I just can't. It just isn't that easy. I just want the scale to say 175 again sometime this week. If it doesn't, then I know it's here to stay for at least another month. I hate how I lose weight now. It takes me forever. That's another reason why I am so upset. It took me a whole month to lose that 4 pounds. A whole month! A month of eating healthy and exercising, and I ruined it for food. Food is not worth it. I wish I never had to eat. Life would be so much easier. But I truly love food. Anyway, as I said before, I am looking for the bright side. I can't find it. What can come out of this? Now it's going to take even longer to reach my goal. Maybe this is a lesson. I know I won't touch any horrible food for quite a while. And if I do, it will have to fit into my calorie intake. I need to learn to respect food. I just had no control over myself last weekend. I could not stop. I told myself multiple times to stop, I seriously couldn't. ----- I did my run last night. It was week 3. It was quite nice. Not too tough, but a little tougher than normal. I am almost halfway through this now. I had to walk for 2 minutes, and run 3 minutes for a total of 30 minutes last night. So, I ran for 18 minutes. I know that I ran over a mile last night. It just wasn't in a row. My face got super red. : ) Wish me luck with the scale.