Yep, you read it. After only a single day, I binged. I now officially realized that I have an eating disorder. Binge eating. I hate it. I don't want to live my entire life hating food, hating myself for eating food, binging on it, and never reaching my goal of weighing 150 pounds. I need to relax. I really tried hard this time to not overeat, but I did. I ate a bar of chocolate, a cadbury egg, 2 tacos, 2 wraps, some cake, and some laffy taffys. All of that in about a 3-5 hour period. Probably around 2000-3000 calories. I am going to make myself a promise. From now on, when I feel hungry I will drink an entire bottle of water, and wait 2o minutes to see if I actually am hungry. If I am then I can have a serving, but once I feel full, I stop eating. For now, I will just stop with 2-3 bites of food left, because my binging has caused my body to not realize when I actually am hungry. I can fight this. I know I can. It doesn't have to take over my life. I will do my 30 minutes of dancing tomorrow, and I will train my arms for 30 minutes. Yesterday, when I worked out, I ate amazingly. Also, I can only allow myself to look at the scale once a week. I have noticed that when I check the scale daily, whether the scale is right or wrong, I go nuts. I just binge like mad. I know I won't be able to deal with this stuff for much longer. I just can't take it. I want to be serious like I was before. That's all for now.
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