The Tough Times

These times have been pretty tough. I'm so confused with everything. I've decided to stop running. I feel like a failure even though I went further in the program than I had ever planned on. I need to figure out what I want to do for workouts now. I really want to join a gym. Then when I get back to school, it'll be a lot easier to work out. But I need to get a job first. Maybe I can just wait until Josh(my boyfriend) gets a better job, and then ask him to pay the $19 a month for me to be in the gym. Anyway. I am having trouble deciding what I want to do for exercise. I'm thinking badminton. But I will only want to do that for so long. I just hate how I'm feeling. I haven't worked out in a whole week. It's truly surprising what no exercise for just one week does to me. My depression has come back, I'm not liking my self as much, I feel tired and lazy. I truly hate it. I'm going to get a workout in today though. I will make sure of it. I need to continue my healthy eating, and my workouts. I need to work extra hard to get rid of this weight. I am so tired of being overweight. I want so badly to weigh 150 pounds. Wish me luck.